Fears and Desires

Wow, what a busy few months it has been!

I finished painting my bedroom and it’s all set up, including my new bed which is just absolutely amazing! So, let me know if you’d like me to do a post.

I attended a job interview a few months ago that I mentioned in a previous post, and although I wasn’t successful, they have offered me an alternate job based more on what I’m currently studying which really blew me away. It involves more travel as it’s not in my local area, but it’s a really really good opportunity for growth building on my skills, experience and knowledge in my career. I debated with myself about the extra travel and time away from Max but after talking it over with my support network (family and friends who help with Max) and my workplace, they’re happy to be flexible which is wonderful. So it was a very excited YES from me, and I will start my new journey shortly, YAY!!

That was the first big positive I’ve had in my life for a while, although a few more have followed now and it feels so good to be going in a positive direction. I’ve been working hard and I feel my life is finally starting to reflect that. When you are constantly focussing on the negative moments in your life you attract what you fear and repel what you really desire. The road since my separation has been anything but smooth and is extremely exhausting, but I’ve managed to push through because I’ve stopped focussing on those moments. I’ve realised that every moment is neutral till it’s labelled, and as soon as I let go of my fears and started to take inspired action towards what my desires are my moments changed, for the better.

I’ve got an amazing job opportunity that I’m so excited to begin, I’m only a few weeks off finishing my graduate certificate, and my annual beach holiday has been extended from one week to three thanks to an impeccably timed phone call after someone cancelled their booking! These are my desires, to grow in my career, and make memories with my son. I know most desire more money and a better figure, and to a degree I do too, but it’s not important at the moment. Live in the now, be present in your children’s lives, and create moments they will cherish for long after we are gone. My son isn’t going to look back at how much money we did or didn’t have, he will look back to see a mum who worked and spent quality time with him on my days off. He loves spending a morning with me at the beach, and our trips to Bunnings even if we just go to look at the flowers and find the resident lizards, he doesn’t care what it is we are doing as long as it’s time together. We recently gate crashed my parents camping trip for a few days and Max was so excited to be sleeping in a tent. I wasn’t so excited being in a tent on a mattress I needed to pump up each night, but it was all new to him and time together. We hired a kayak and explored the creek, visited the park more times then I can count, rode our bikes and made new friends. Just a small town caravan park, a boy, and his family, cherishing those special moments.

Our annual beach holiday is at a place I holidayed at as a child. I love that he will have the opportunity to fall in love with the place I spent so many summers at and made some lifelong friends. Friends whose children are now experiencing what we did. It’s not a resort, it’s not a fancy 5-star holiday park or hotel either, it’s a small coastal town that is still relatively untouched. Last year we rode our bikes on the beach each afternoon, we played in the sand, found shells, decorated sand castles with sea weed, had basic meals, used a public shower block and toilets, and explored the area. He still talks about it now, 10months later, asking when we’re going back. These are the moments that I want to create, moments that are full of smiles and positive memories, nothing fancy, just some Max and mum time.

Every moment in life is a fresh start, a moment full of opportunity to be the very best version of you. Give that moment your all, be present, and choose you…